26 Comments
User's avatar
Tara Penry's avatar

For all those who read The Name of the Rose when it was new and adored it beyond measure, I now see that we were eavesdroppers. The book was written for Hilary. The rest of us created the demand that kept it on bookshelves so she, just she, could find it. What a moving essay and a celebration of the marvel of books!

Expand full comment
M. E. Rothwell's avatar

What a lovely way of putting it - I think you’re absolutely right. This is clearly Hilary’s book

Expand full comment
Monica Nastase's avatar

This makes me think that maybe we each have a book, either waiting for us to discover it, or which we've read already. I wonder which one it is...

Expand full comment
Zork (the) Hun's avatar

Not to diminish the others, but this is by far the best piece on this Substack since it started. I am awed.

Not only because I loved the book myself, not only because I also have a fascination with the world of medieval Christianity, and not only because I consider the pursuit of wisdom the most worthwhile goal of my life.

I am in awe seeing this perfect weight of the writing, the perfect balance of full and tight.

Bravo

Expand full comment
M. E. Rothwell's avatar

When Hilary first submitted it she offered to cut some of the words down because technically it’s over the word limit, but I told not to. It’s so brilliantly written I wouldn’t dare cut any of it.

Expand full comment
Tara Penry's avatar

Agreed. Good call.

Expand full comment
Peter Clayborne's avatar

Gorgeous and haunting. Uncomfortably familiar. What luscious details! The pacing and scene-setting in this piece is just exquisite.

Expand full comment
M. E. Rothwell's avatar

Breathtaking prose isn’t it

Expand full comment
Madeleine Dobrowski's avatar

Wow, what a gorgeously written and interesting story. I am a life-long practicing Catholic and we recently moved to a place where there are a surprising number of religious groups that claim to be Catholic, but have simultaneously rejected certain fundamental aspects of the faith in order to adhere to an incredibly rigid, stiff, "medieval" interpretation of it, attaching a legalistic obligation of dogma to things that were only ever meant to be optional expressions of love and devotion. Very much like what you described. It is truly cult-like and the people who have made their way out of those communities and back to the Church itself would probably tell stories very similar to yours. It is so interesting how there is a touting of "this is the truth" and yet, when you are a part of those communities you can feel the tangible lack of love. It's such a grace that you were able to extract yourself from it.

Expand full comment
M. E. Rothwell's avatar

It’s quite interesting because even a light study of the medieval period would illustrate how bonkers a lot of their beliefs were 😂😂 Even just their artwork is so off the rails! Seems an odd thing to harken back to

Expand full comment
Madeleine Dobrowski's avatar

Yeah, medieval times were fascinating but also sometimes pure chaos haha.. I mean, it is true that some of the most incredible intellectual works of faith and reason ever written came about in the medieval period, as well as some true masterpieces of art. But that doesn't *necessarily* make their lived practice of the faith any better or more sincere (in my opinion). As C.S. Lewis said (in regard to old books), they aren't better just because they are old. But they are worth reading because each culture is subject to its own unique misconceptions, including our own, and an older culture is often not subject to the same misconceptions that we are. So there's a lot to learn from the medieval culture in general, but certainly a lot to leave behind as well! Such as... burning witches.

Expand full comment
Katie Kibbe's avatar

Hilary's writing is beautifully immersive. What a gift to have come across this book at just the right time.

Expand full comment
M. E. Rothwell's avatar

Like it was meant to be

Expand full comment
Katie Kibbe's avatar

It's amazing how books can save our lives. How amazing that an author can speak through time and help Hilary flourish.

Expand full comment
Andrei Atanasov's avatar

Woah! What a great story. I love Eco, and The Name of the Rose is one of the best books I’ve ever read. It spoke to me in ways no other book had. But it seems like it spoke to Hilary even more.

This kind of essay is a testament to the importance of BTMU’s mission, as it clearly, poignantly, and vulnerably shows how books can change and shape a life. Thank you for featuring this story, Mikey.

And Hilary, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for writing it.

Expand full comment
Yasmin Chopin's avatar

Exactly my thoughts.

Expand full comment
Stephen Bradford Long's avatar

I've been distracted and pulled away from my regular reading on Substack, and I've missed this publication.

This piece was beautiful, evocative, and incredibly sad. It's so sad to think of your father dying in that community after being forced to conform. I can think of many people I love in repressive religious communities who will also probably die there.

And regarding The Name of the Rose - it's been on my book shelf for years, sadly unread. This post might change that.

Expand full comment
Nuria Chantre's avatar

Lovely read!

Expand full comment
Latham Turner's avatar

Wow Hillary. What beautiful writing and what unflinching truth. Thank you for sharing.

I often wonder what makes some people able to resist conformity while others cannot. I love the way you shared Brother William as your own influence.

Expand full comment
Thaissa Lara's avatar

-- Beautiful, bright, brilliant writing. Xo.

Expand full comment
Monica Nastase's avatar

Great storytelling and I enjoyed how Hilary's life story intertwined with ideas from Eco's book.

Expand full comment
Yasmin Chopin's avatar

Wonderful to read this superbly written personal reflection. I haven’t read the book yet but Eco is a favourite author so it’s on my list.

Expand full comment
Adrian P Conway's avatar

Yes, literature as salvific! True Catholic sensibility. Thank you, Hilary, and onward blessing.

Expand full comment
Kathleen Clare Waller's avatar

Such a beautiful story about a beautiful book. I love what you say about truth.

Expand full comment
Holly Starley's avatar

Beautiful!

Expand full comment
Slskfjfidiedidkdj's avatar

👏

Expand full comment