34 Comments
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Eric Goebelbecker's avatar

Vonnegut. He'd make it much more entertaining than it deserves.

Andrei Atanasov's avatar

George Saunders. Before I listened to the audiobook of Pastoralia, I might have said Philip Pullman, of His Dark Materials fame, but I can’t pass up an audio narration by my man George.

Zork (the) Hun's avatar

Bulgakov, Dostojewski or Thomas Mann

Bulgakov for the compassionate understanding with satire

Dostojewski for the biting insight or

Thomas Mann for some sweeping context

But ask me tomorrow, I may say something different, like Fielding, Stern of Dickens

The times I lived are far more important than my life

Konstantin Asimonov's avatar

Oh man, but they are all so dark! Not a single happy human being in all three of them...

David Perlmutter's avatar

Robert Bloch. His heightened senses of humor and irony would be welcome nowadays. Besides, he would completely understand my current economic circumstances as an underpaid genre writer because he was one of those himself in the first phase of his career.

Konstantin Asimonov's avatar

I would really like the author to narrate my life, to like me, as a character, and to be kind to me. I also would like his style to be soft, humorous, and beautiful. I would also like to experience some weird and imaginative stuff.

I can't think of anyone better for this task than Robertson Davies.

Julie Gabrielli's avatar

He’s a gem.

Konstantin Asimonov's avatar

He truly is! And relatively unknown, which is a shame.

June Girvin's avatar

Hilary Mantel, of course.

June Girvin's avatar

I love her deeply.

Simon Haisell's avatar

June, I feel like she already is narrating my life. There's no writer I'd want more.

June Girvin's avatar

I know. Such loss, such loss. She used to live near us in east Devon. Often we would see her leaving or arriving at her flat, standing by her car. It used to take all my willpower not to run across the street and fall in love and awe at her feet. I wish I had now, although she would probably have been deeply unimpressed.

Simon Haisell's avatar

Probably! I wish I'd met her, I would have risked unimpressing her.

Victoria Waddle's avatar

Virginia Woolf (in the light of what a room of one’s own really means)

Chen Rafaeli's avatar

oho. ok. I'll let mine roam free

Kafka-for the most similar, in terms how one might expreince self

Johan Borgen-for amazing insight and analysis. He'd be merciless and compassionate

Olga Tokarchzuk-in whatever genre of hers she'd decide to do so, for she's genious in all she touches. Magical realizm?

Ljudmila Petrushevskaya-similar to Kafka; but shorter version. Or can be other genre, whatever she'd pick. Her half-page is worth of others' hundreds.

Bashevis-Zinger

Selma Lagerlof-to make a saga of it

Margaret Atwood

Thomas Mann

Nabokov

Pushkin.

ok....now I imagined them all standing in line "no, I want to narrate Chen's life! no, let me!"...that was funny. Stepped on each other's toes, out of impatience, lol

Konstantin Asimonov's avatar

Pushkin, yeah. Re-reading "Captain's daughter" as we speak. He really loved them, all of them, even the bastards.

Chen Rafaeli's avatar

yeah..I recently re-read all the prose(I think) and "Eugene Onegin".

David Roberts's avatar

John Cheever. He'd turn it into a short story so it would take less time to tell.

Terry Freedman's avatar

Thanks very mujch for the shout-out! My preferred author would be Borges, because he'd make the true bits sound like fiction, and the fictional bits sound true. Chortle.

Martha Nichols's avatar

Oh, thank you for the shout out here – much appreciated, and I'm just seeing it now after getting back from an eclipse adventure. I hope to post a picture tomorrow :-)

SUE Speaks's avatar

Brian Swimme, who would make me heroic. Here's what he's already said: "You and I are pointed at the same thing -- to create a raging forest fire of love, to sweep us forever out of this deadening sadness of egos and superficiality."

Leomhann Saorsa's avatar

Kurt Vonnegut or Isaac Asimov!

vanechka's avatar

Sasha Sokolov — life should be poetry, even the smallest details, and the story must be told in the most beautiful and rich words, unique and almost untranslatable to other languages.

László Krasznahorkai — life should have one-page long sentences, few paragraph breaks, be breathtaking and mesmerising, up to the point of feeling surreal.

Lindsey Johnstone's avatar

Bret Easton Ellis, for the glamour.

Michael King's avatar

Mark Twain - we all need a bit of humor. But, before being asked this, I had always said that my life had been a mix of Dickens and Dostoyevsky.

Rolando Andrade's avatar

I have two

1. António Lobo Antunes

2. Bukowski

Julie Gabrielli's avatar

What a fabulous question! And thanks for the story shout-out. To narrate my life, as in tell my story, I’d love it to be Brian Doyle. (Staying on-brand, since he also wrote the book-that-saved-me).

perfectlight's avatar

paul howard

Zoe Carada's avatar

Now THAT's a question! To capture the intricacies of my relationships, whether friends, family, co-workers, partners or lovers, either Jane Austen, or Iris Murdoch. The one would put me in the centre of a sparkling social game, the other would dive deeeeeeep, very deeeep into my motifs. I wonder which would make me look more gorgeous! :)

Jackie Bridgen's avatar

James Joyce.

I have no clue what's going on, so why the heck should you?

Reda Rountree (she/her)'s avatar

I love this question. I’m going with Neil Gaiman for the win, and David Tennant for my audiobook.

Ashley South's avatar

Samuel Beckett.

Fail better?

Martha Nichols's avatar

Nora Ephron - I'd be very happy if I could come up with her wonderfully comic ending lines to "A Few Words About Breasts" (see below). In fact, the person I want to narrate my life is me – as honestly as I can, which is kind of what I'm after now in personal storytelling. But this question is fun, too, and I'd also nod to @lauriestone who writes "Everything Is Personal" on Substack and is vintage Village Voice.

My first thought was Joan Didion, but, much as I love her work, I'm after more warmth in my own. Here are those lines from Ephron:

"They had a terrible time of it, they assure me. I don't know how lucky I was, they say. I have thought about their remarks, tried to put myself in their place, considered their point of view. I think they are full of shit."

https://genius.com/Nora-ephron-a-few-words-about-breasts-annotated