Salutations, bibliophiles.
Today, I’m very excited to bring you an essay that I’ve been eagerly waiting to share with you for months and months.
It’s from the wonderful
, author of , a substack that explores the great questions of our times through the lens of the subconscious.As you’ll find out, Hermann has had a rich and varied life, but as always the thing that unites his experiences with the rest of our community here is the shared recognition of the power of literature to get us through the darkest moments. Enjoy!
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What was the book that made me?
For me, it’s Zig Ziglar’s See You At The Top.
I was around fourteen years old when my Dad gave me the book. He was going through rough times himself, for he’d recently gotten divorced from my mom.
At fourteen, I got lots of pimples and zits and felt insecure. Typical phases fourteen-year-olds go through, I know. However, the book was vital because it was the first self-help book I’ve ever read. I learned to eliminate “stinkin’ thinkin’”, a common phrase in the self-help world.
The book helped me view myself as successful. A few years later, this proved crucial when I left Miami on a partial football scholarship to play at the University of New Haven in Connecticut.
To offer some context, I’d grown up in Miami, Florida, with Cuban parents. When I went to the University of New Haven, my grandmother, mother, sister, and girlfriend traveled with me to see where I’d live in the football dorms.
This wasn’t a good idea.
Immediately, the other young male teenagers in the dorm started looking at me and my female entourage like sharks smelling blood in the water. The attention from the other male teenagers was going to my mom and girlfriend, for my grandmother was too old and my sister too young. I put my arm around my girlfriend. One football player started to flirt with my mom. Awkward!
My family and girlfriend left, and I soon met my two new roommates. One roommate was a white Alabamian with a Southern drawl. He’d constantly chew something and always had a cup with him, which he kept under his bed. I was naive; I hadn’t connected the dots yet, for I played football, not baseball. I had the bunk bed above him.
My other roommate was an African-American from Newark, New Jersey, who kept a large pile of dirty clothes in the room near his bed. He liked to play loud rap music on his boombox. This was back in 1987. Boomboxes were a thing.
Within my first week there, I climbed the ladder to get to my bunk bed when I accidentally knocked the cup over. The Alabamian wasn’t there, but the New Jerseyan was, and he stared daggers at me. He pointed at the ooze from the cup, slowly spreading closer to his clothes on the floor. “That better not touch my clothes. That’s his chewing tobacco spit.”
This is how I found out what was in the cup. I quickly got a towel and cleaned up the oozy mess before it reached my roommate’s clothes. He wasn’t kind. He walked out after I finished cleaning, saying, “Be f#@%ing careful, man.”
It was not a good way to start my relationship with my new roommate. As I began to feel hatred towards the New Jerseyan, I remembered a quote from the book See You at the Top.
“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”
When I first arrived in August, I loved Connecticut. I believed I’d enjoy the colder climate. I assumed I’d find relief with less humidity, yet I’ve always had the sun growing up in Miami. When winter came, and sunlight decreased, I started to get serious winter blues.
By October, our whole dorm room situation had changed. I’d narrowly avoided fights with my roommates and others in the dorm. Nevertheless, our football dorm floor had fights almost every night. Someone wisely thought moving the freshman football players with other students might be a good idea. So, I got moved to another dorm with a little less tension.
When I went home for Thanksgiving, I knew there was one thing I’d need to take back with me to New Haven: the book See You at the Top.
I almost decided to leave the University of New Haven during the Christmas break. I was having a rough time there. Besides serious winter blues and lacking vitamin D, I wasn’t playing football well. I was good in high school but not so good at college.
The University of New Haven had almost the entire football team on a partial or full scholarship. It got the huge, athletic football players who didn’t have the grades to get into bigger and better college football programs. At 5.11, I was the most undersized lineman competing to play the defensive end position.
Back then, steroid testing wasn’t done, so many players used them. I was tempted to take them. Again, a quote from See You at the Top helped me decide not to.
“You cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.”
I didn’t see myself taking an illegal drug to improve my athletic performance. So, after a full year and a knee injury, I gave up playing.
It was difficult because I didn’t know what to do with my life. I had unrealistically thought I’d play more college ball and maybe even have a shot at the NFL. And yet again, another quote by See You at the Top helped me transition.
“The real opportunity for success lies within the person and not in the job.”
My job of playing football was over. But I saw myself as successful and wanted to continue my education. Remembering how a chiropractor helped me years ago with a back injury, I decided to interview a few chiropractors. Most of them seemed happy and successful, so I set my sights on becoming a chiropractor.
Getting the prerequisites to get into chiropractic college wasn’t easy. However, I got accepted, and as I continued in chiropractic college, I lost track of See You at the Top. But it had started me on a journey of always avoiding stinken thinkin and always continuing to think positively and motivate myself. These habits continued, and I graduated from chiropractic school and went on to open a clinic.
As a chiropractor, I saw Zig Ziglar himself at a conference in Miami. It was great to see him live. By then, I had read books by Anthony Robbins, Jim Rohn, and John C. Maxwell. I had relegated the book See You at the Top as my starter book in my personal growth journey. The book had already changed my life, and I wasn’t planning to re-read it.
However, life is full of surprises, some good and some bad.
I ended up working in a clinic that was committing fraud. The clinic organizers would train fake car accident patients on how to perform, as I did an exam. I should’ve known better because I doubted how they got so many patients. But I figured I’d work at the clinic for six months, and if I didn’t like how things were going, I’d leave. I did that, taking a little longer because they took a while to find another chiropractor to replace me, so I spent eight months in the clinic.
Four years later, the FBI came to visit my house. Not knowing any better, I told them what happened. I didn’t see it as a confession, but they did. Months later, I showed up at a federal trial, and two other chiropractors were there. We three chiropractors all fought for our innocence, and we all lost. I got sentenced to nine years in federal prison.
I was sent to a federal prison camp in Yazoo City, Mississippi. If I thought the University of New Haven was brutal, this was much harder.
One day, I was at the prison library, where I’d occasionally play a game of chess with another inmate. While in the middle of the game, I saw it. The distinct white arrow pointing up, with the red lettering and the blue margins. It was the book See You at the Top! I was surprised I hadn’t seen it before because I had searched the library repeatedly. Another inmate must have had the book and returned it to the library.
I told my chess opponent inmate, “I’m sorry, I’ve got something to do. You were going to win anyway.”
I walked towards the book and picked it up. It was in decent shape. I got emotional and walked to the inmate bathroom. I locked myself in the stall, shed a tear, read, and re-read…
The book’s concepts helped me make strides while in prison, motivating me to focus on writing and fitness—two things I do consistently to this day. I started writing a few novels and studying for my personal training certification. Not too long afterward, what was horrible for the rest of the world was a blessing for me: The COVID-19 pandemic.
Due to good behavior, I was allowed out early due to the pandemic. I spent five and a half years in federal prison. While there, I read many books, but nothing as unique and beneficial as See You at the Top.
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Wow, this is an excellent write-up! I love the way you think, Hermann. I guess we have Zig Zagler to thank, for helping you think that way! :)
Thanks for telling your story Herman. I remember Zig Ziglar because my dad, after a career as an army officer, worked in a sales capacity. He would listen to these tapes of Zig Ziglar speaking. Thanks for that memory.